Road To Freedom, by Val M: A story of Debt

Val M, a colleague and friend of mine wrote this posting. She doesn't have her own blog, so this has been posted here in her own words:

Notes made on 5th June 07 - My beloved husband John only 65 and oh so young for his age. Gone to another world, a new adventure for some one whose whole life had been an adventure. He had died as he’d lived with courage, dignity and a smile. His body wrecked from the ravages of cancer, his mind and spirit finally at peace. What am I left with? A warm and loving family the best of friends a beautiful home lent to me by two of those friends, my health. What I don’t have is money or financial assets - £4.34 in the bank on Sunday.

Now that John has gone there is a hole in my heart the size of an ocean and debts so high they can’t be paid I had given all that I could to care for John. My car had been sold, our savings gone and large credit card debts had been incurred, all in our search for a cure. I had given up my career to care for John full time - 24/7 we were together, something that we learnt to love. What I want now is to use our story to inspire hope and courage in others. Something, also, that helps me make sense of the world that I now live in, A world in which I believe that everything happens for a purpose and that the challenge is to make something positive out of it. There is so much to write so much to share and so much to sort out. I didn’t know where to begin so I started with a diary spurred on by the support of someone whom John and I had met in the last year of his life and my dear friend Amanda whom I had helped (in a small way) put together a programme called DebtFree and Happy a few years ago. Little did I know at that time that the programme was for me.

These postings tell my story. I hope that it helps change not just how you might be feeling about money and debt but also how our financial institutions handle our growing debt mountain. At the moment the prevailing advice is go bankrupt make a fresh start and a new life - certainly it seems that is what a number of my creditors want; why? I really don’t know.

Back in June 07, all I wanted was a break from payment six months to a year whilst I put my life back together. I wrote a note to myself: "Now the stress of it all feels too much, my confidence is shattered and the thought of rebuilding my career a distant dream." Then, in August when I started my diary properly it was a cathartic process; it helped me to get some of my thoughts on paper. I also wanted it to help others. At the time I was incensed by the way some of my creditors were handling my case but I still had some fight in me - Like Amanda, I didn’t want others to go through what I was going through. That is still the case but I was drained and was ready to give up, take the easy option, go bankrupt and start again. I could have easily hopped on an aeroplane and left the country for a few years... making my life easier. But just before I did that… Well here it is I hope it helps: I decided to follow the advice Amanda suggests... I wrote to creditors, including the credit card companies, bank, and council... An admin job I didn't enjoy very much... but one that had to be done. I realised it was much more simple that I thought it would be. (Amanda provides templates to those who have purchased the pack... so just send her an email and you'll receive the templates). I simply adapted it to my situation and put in the various names and addresses.

Bearing in mind the media criticism of the banks handling of such debtors, Amanda and I decided to play a game... we will rate creditors on their ability to respond with respect, dignity and compassion to my situation... and then post our results here on this blog. So watch out for the next instalment when I'll let you know what happened next... (in the meantime, if you are in debt, have you taken the action that Amanda suggests in the free e-course and reiterates in the Debt Free and Happy programme).

Comment from Amanda:

I wish to thank Val for sharing her most intimate thoughts. John was a very special man and a great adventurer. John and I clicked the moment we met. He was full on fun, highly competitive (and I quickly discovered, when Val first introduced me to John at a corporate dinner party, and John and I were on opposite teams!), and he always with a tale or two to tell! He is still very sadly missed. Val is a courageous woman and I feel honoured to have her in my life.

We all have our own journey and story to tell about being in debt. Some, unfortunately, don't have the support mechanism, or the knowledge to eradicate BAD debt from their lives and learn how to make money their friend.

When you read about the next six months of Val's experience, you'll soon see why so many people fall into the trap of filing for bankruptcy when they don't need to or setting up an IVA (Individual Voluntary arrangement) when they could, in fact, have used the exact same money to pay off their debts in full, and have a clean credit history - and usually in less time!

If you had the ability to create £250,000 worth of debt, you are a genius! It means you have the same ability to create £250,000 of wealth. Believe me, I know from my own experience. And when I changed my mindset from that of a victim, and poor person, to that of a wealthy individual, my life turned around.

Val's life was turned upside down when John became ill and every penny (and all the credit) she had available was spent on finding a cure and making the time John had left on this planet a great one. You are at your most vulnerable at this time, just as you are with other life-altering situations, like divorce, relocation etc. It's then that you need the right kind of support (not necessarily sympathy) to get you back on track in more ways that just financial.

I have (and always have had) confidence that Val will turn her situation around again to a life of massive abundance. In the next posting you'll find out how the creditors responded and what Val did about it.